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FALL OUT BOY.

"The man survived, but was seriously injured and had to amputate half his left foot."



Death is sneaky, quiet, tricky, charming & gruesome! If you fall from the damn sky, there ain't no fucking angels that are gonna throw you a pillow when you hit the floor! Fuck the part about your life flashing by before you die, especially when you're falling 300 fucking feet from a damn helicopter. The only thing probably going through your head is that moment you realize you're slipping from your gear & panicking saying to yourself: "I'm probably not meant to make this one". That or "Fuck."

What's a few broken bones right? Right.

MAN ON A MISSION!

I mean, man in the Mission. The funny thing about the 16th Street BART station in SF is that it's pretty fucking shitty already, so there's not much of a surprise here. I mean, not shitty as in oh man it's so gross like them bougie bitches in the Marina would say, as it's actually nice considering it's neighborhood, but shitty as in it's just dirty & has a weird mix of crackheads, Mexicans, hipsters, and a low lives.



That being said, the below video probably explains why a lot of people chose to ignore this guy. I mean, no one would give him a NY minute. Which is fine, but the annoying part is how no one stomped his ass out when he touched the girls, or while he was humping the floor. I wouldn't fuck with him standing up – that muthafucker will ninja flip, roundhouse you in the face and then give you the Bath Salt face off! The Gawker said it best:

Extended footage of the May 10th incident involving a "naked, spitting and pissing dude" on (what appears to be) a drug-fueled rampage inside San Francisco's 16th Street BART stationsurfaced online yesterday, and it's pretty intense — even by naked, spitting and pissing dude rampage standards.

FAKE KIDNAPPING.

Some of you might remember that story I posted on Twitter about that genius that fake kidnapped his crush and accidently killed her in the process. C'mon Kyle get your shit together, that stuff doesn't even work in the movies! Guess State Farm couldn't bail him out of this one...

KILL YO'SELF!

This guy dug his own grave...rightfully so.

BACK DOOR TEEN MOM.

She's a natural. Except her tits. Might be the hottest & dumbest chick on the show. Whatever. She does anal & squirts. Winner Winner Fuck your dinner!



It's a 1 gig plus download or just stream it somewhere. Not worth the purchase but worth a good spank. Creep Street Approved.

AMANDA BYNES DOE.

This week's Titty Tuesday is brought to you by none other than the notoriously awesome Twitter frenzied Amanda Bynes! Hot or not?! You decide! LOL!





Can't really front she's kind of hit or sloppy motherfucking miss. You are a hot mess Amanda, try not to pull a Lohan this year. Or do.

KISSES LIKE...

Seriously?!

BITCH BETTER GET ME MY MONEY!

Hahaha hustlers from QUEENS, you know how we do! Crippled beggar by day, girlfriend by night! Wifey material.

SCUMANDA BYNES FUCKING RULES!

KILL YOUR EX!

Literally killed his ex-girlfriend!

BABY POWDER!

Guess this is a bad time for another classic dead baby joke huh?



The Korea Customs Service said Monday it had seized capsules made in northeastern China from dead babies whose bodies were chopped into small pieces and dried on stoves before being turned into powder. Deng said Chinese health departments would work with police, customs agencies and commerce authorities to investigate the latest claims, Xinhua said.

The South Korean customs agency began investigating after receiving a tip a year ago. No sicknesses have been reported from ingesting the capsules. South Korean customs officials have refused to say where the dead babies came from or who made the capsules, citing possible diplomatic friction with Beijing.

They said they had discovered 35 smuggling attempts since August of about 17,450 capsules disguised as stamina boosters. Some people believe the capsules are a panacea for disease. However, they contain bacteria and other harmful ingredients, the customs agency said.

via Huffington Post



Hahaha those South Korean police chicks are like sexual stamina? Better sneak a few of these for the husband tonight! Dayam! SUS AS FUCK! People in China really do eat EVERYTHING!!!

CUT FOR BIEBER!

The only thing worse than paper cuts, are cardboard cuts. You ever get cut while putting a cardboard box together? That shit fucking sucks! I mean, getting your dick cut off is pretty bad too (shout out John Bobbitt), and so is getting cut in line. But probably the strangest type of cutting is the suicidal, self inflicted, fuck you some people have chemical imbalances I'm sad, upset, depressed and socially inept type. Which is why when 1 dumbass kid decided to post on the internet their strong disliking for Justin Bieber's new weed habit by cutting themselves, we decided to follow suit on what has become one of the worst (or best) online trends to start off the new year: #CUTFORBIEBER!!!! Go fucking kill yo' self!



Okay. So it was probably a fucking 4chan hoax. Still, some kids were dumb enough to start doing it, and still, these shirts are FUCKING HILARIOUSLY RAD. Our Super Special drop of #cutforbieber tees are finally up on our shop so umm yea, don't let these sell out cause we made like 5 shirts. MURDER WE WROTE™BABY!

http://shop.madcreepy.com/products/cut-for-bieber

THESE BITCHES BE FLY!

Holy fuck! Oh you know, just a average morning walk on the way to work. "How was your weekend Mary? Oh good, I just–"...BAMM!!! Them bitches just didn't know where to go...and to get hit on a curb, fence, tree before the floor too! Talk about adding insult to injury! And not one scratch on the man...homeboy will be cherishing his life FOREVER!

TIMING IS EVERYTHING.

And you thought homeboy was gonna pass out or something...POW!

AIR CARTWHEEL.

Not sure how these fools just blow a steady red light flying at 50 mph. And instead of swearing right the car swerves left. So dumb. Poor chick.

DOOMED!

We posted this image up yesterday from the NY Post. Obviously we they knew how controversial it would be as it would raise a shit load of issues, perspectives, and public outrage. Journalism at it's best, huh?! It's a sick sad world. Condolences to this man's family. Death is a sad part of reality, and as much as we hate to face it...we pussy out when confronted with any of it ourselves. You probably wouldn't have saved the man, yet we're quick to crucify those easy to blame, as it makes it easier for us to digest our discomfort.



The NY Post isn't exactly known for it's tasteful headlines or writings, but shit, this kind of stuff really get's the people going!

WHAT A COAL WAY TO DIE!

Watch how all the other fools on scooters just back up...

RUSSIHOUR!

Like Russia, Rush-ah, Rush hour...-_-

SIR LANCENOT: THE DOWNWARD CYCLE.

Out of topic for the creeps but just thought I'd share something smart I read on the NYT article on Lance Armstrong's fall from grace. We all wanted to believe in his legendary success story to the top, and we did. And now we all want to tear him down for it, because that's how our culture operates. There's proof he cheated, though it can be argued as well. WHAT THE FUCK is going on here?! Either way, it's a business as the Sports World is actually no different than Hollywood. Use 'em & dump 'em. And they wonder why every celebrity is secretly depressed. This whole ordeal makes Phelps smoking weed look like damn Jesus! Don't drink the Kool-aid kids!

Commenter Jan (USA) had a interesting statement:

I have a hard time jumping in to tear him down---he did what his sport demanded. . . same as McGuire, Bonds, etc. I'm surprised there are so many naive grown-ups here who are shocked and outraged. Haven't we had this story line since the the beginning of sport? Anyone who really follows cycling has assumed all along that he and most other riders were doping (thus the collective shrug from the cycling fans).

I wonder if all of those who are demanding something from Lance and demanding honesty would demand this of themselves. . .do you demand this of your political leaders (look at the amount of lies going on right now in the presidential campaign by both sides), do you demand this of your own boss, CEO/WallStreet types, and even our own kids (Cheating in school or taking stimulants like Ritalin are now necessary for kids to have a performance edge). . . . Americans are very good at thumping their chest and demanding honesty from people like Lance or Barry Bonds, but perfectly willing to look the other way when real people in their lives cheat in big and small ways.

Let's keep this in perspective. . . if you bought the charade you only have yourself to blame. Professional athletes are not heros or role models--they are paid performers.

I don't agree or disagree with Jan. When this whole shit becomes old news, I want to stress in your parent's voice: "this could all have been avoided if you did it right in the first place." Hahaha! Listen, this isn't really about whether he doped or not, or whether it was a industry practice. It's about what makes ANY sport, or ANY activity in general, honorable, especially to those who don't "cheat". It's about humble beginnings...fighting to the top at the 11th hour, and winning. That's the American Dream. There is nothing worse in life than being called a fraud. Some people are actually okay with being one ironically, but that's another story in itself. This kind of shit is just plain sad.



COME CORRECT SON! We also are selling you a dream in many aspects. One filled with skating, gore, fun, stupidity, and hot bitches! But who am I to tell you what is & isn't real...that's for you to judge. We aim to let you be motivated, to be excited, to know what our world has awaiting for you. I guess you can say Lance succeeded in that aspect as well. With the internet taking over everybody's lives & identities & "personas" these days it's hard to tell what or who's real. Sometimes, sadly some of us actually start to believe in what we create. Yes I'm talking about you Twitter/Insta posers! Ya'll ain't fooling the real G's! Long gone are the days we had to exorcise our demons to become better people who can function & socialize in society on a given day. Why bother when you can just sit behind your computer screen and pretend, right? I digress. Strange says continue to lie ahead. Do as you will, but just don't cry when your shit get's flipped. Because it will. Except unlike Lance Armstrong, some of you won't have a hundred million to chill on. I wish Mr. Armstrong & his family well. We'll never know what really happened, because we weren't there. Just know that everyhing happens for a reason. Stay real, stay creepy, stay awesome.  Amen bitches.

Love,
Boris the Ladykiller Changstein, Jr Esq.