DEATH VALLEY!

You know what would be really scary?! If MTV decided to play music videos during normal hours so people would actually know what stars were being nominated for on the VMA's! So to continue on whatever agenda they have, they introduce a whole shitload of new tv shows (I guess it's a youth culture channel now) and amongst all those poserish sexually teen charged shows comes a horror joint that actually makes up for fucking up Teen Wolf. Did I watch every episode of MTV's Teen Wolf? Yes, but that's not the point.



I actually have high hopes for Death Valley, and am happy to say I was not disappointed by Episode 1. It's got this whole Cops, Super Troopers meets our favorite subject matter of zombies, vamps, wolves & shit. Good cast selection, good story, and for the most part it's pretty fucking funny too. The only thing it needs is tits. But that's neither here or there. This show better continue rocking, it's the least you can do for giving us 4 seasons of fucking Teen Mom...

WATER POWER.

So any of you cult sickos know of this classic? Well, how I came across this gem was actually well, as random as I come across any of this other shit I post on this god-forbidden blog. But anyhow, if any of you had some time to kill on a random evening, and are a get ready for some nervous puke-worthy laughter!



Water Power is a pornographic film released c. 1976 directed by Shaun Costello. It was loosely based on the real-life exploits of the Illinois "Enema bandit", Michael H. Kenyon, who administered forced enemas to female college students in the 1960s and 70s. The film starred Jamie Gillis as a disturbed loner in the mode of Travis Bickle from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver. In preparing for his role, Gillis reportedly asked to be flown to Illinois to interview the man his character was based upon (his request was denied).
(Thanks Wikipedia)



"Hardcore Frank Zappa fans may be familiar with the...excerpt from his song “The Illinois Enema Bandit,” which was based on the strange, horrible, yet strangely funny story of Michael H. Kenyon who between 1966 and 1975 terrorized women of Illinois, Kansas, Oklahoma, and California through a series of, uhm, rather unique sexual assaults. It all started on an early spring night in 1966 when he stalked two sisters, donning a ski mask he slid into their basement window and caught up with them utilizing his three main tools of execution: duct tape, rope, and a hotwater bag filled with soapy water. The assault that resulted from this left the girls in a violated and vulnerable state, but on the upside they were now much cleaner on the inside had Michael Kenyon not been there to cleanse them from their vile humors. Kenyon’s enema assaults continued for nearly a decade, until he began to get sloppy (well, sloppier than usual) and arrogant by the mid-70’s.

The straw that broke the camel’s back came in 1975 when Kenyon decided to shit where he ate and returned to his hometown of Champaign Illinois, were the first assault had taken place. On a single night he attempted to break some sort of world record, bounding, gagging, robbing and administered enemas to no less than five separate women, one of which he later came back to and administered a second enema, in just a matter of hours. Kenyon left a muddy trail of evidence in his wake which would lead to his apprehension several weeks later. But by the time his case came to trial a very strange thing had happened.

Several of the assaults had outlived the statue of limitations, but to make matters worse apparently forcefully shoving a tube full of soapy water up a person’s ass and making them squirt out streams of dirty brown dishwater while you masturbate without their prior written consent was not only not considered to be a criminal offense, but was and to this day still is featured in the Zagat’s guide to Chicago quinine. Because of this, all the authorities could do was nab Kenyon on a couple of breaking and entering and burglary charges. Kenyon served a six year prison sentence and, with the exception of being a suspect in the 1982 Cyanide-Tylenol murders, faded out of the pages of bizarre criminal infamy and into almost complete obscurity… Almost. Had it not been for a few sub-pop cultural instances to keep the gears turning just a little bit longer. "  
via http://cinemageddon.net/doku/doku.php/reviews:waterpower - go there for the REAL REVIEW LOL


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While I can't really give you a thorough review as I've only been able to scavenge a few small, but quite unforgettable clips here and there...this shit goes right up the Creep Street's must-watch list of fucked up films. I'm not gonna get into much detail but let's just say there was a lot of lesbo rape muddy butt spraying going on (hehe nervous laughter)...AWESOME.

The story in itself is quite difficult not to laugh at, though to be honest, I can't say how fond I would be of a forced enema. I actually prefer not to think about it. But watch the flick, all I can say is that the actors and actresses probably had a shit load of fun (pun intended) making it – and that's what we as a company stand for at the end of the day, no matter how messy it may get.

"THINK IT OVER, CREEP."

They don't make movies like they did in the 80's & 90's no more :(.

Obviously because they'd rather spend the money digitizing it then building actual shit. I don't care if you gotta make a mini diorama and blow it up, damn some just have people physically make shit, and you wonder why our human race is on a decline!

But on the real Robocop was the fucking shit. From the evil corporations, to the craziness of Detroit (even though it was filmed in Dallas and other locations). and the cheesy dialogues, everything about Robocop is still pretty much relevant in terms of modern contexts. I remember how bummed I was when his own cops turned on him, and that time he got dissembled by those crooks. I feel ya homie, cats be hatin' and then they come crawlin' back when they fucked up. Some real emotional shit for me as a youth nah mean. And for all you n00bz out there, go rent this shit, smoke a little perron (thanks yaiagift) and get your head out the Terminator's ass!

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE.

SO - I finally got around to watching the Human Centipede OnDemand and well, I thought Creep Street should start to give more insightful contributions to it's Horror ties and all... so what better way than to start with this with movie reviews?! I mean shit, there should be some actual writing involved in this damn blog right? Right! I mean what keeps things interesting in the end of the day is the amount of gore and boobage and butts here, but let's not forget what brought us here in the first place - Scary Fucking Movies.



Now, Human Centipede isn't your typical Hitchcock sorta suspense, although it has hints of it from his films with obvious addictive characteristics of most European Horror movies. The concept at the end of the day is quite genius, simple, very memorable, and well if you can picture what it would be like to be the person involved in this sick experiment, I think you can fairly say that this movie is fucked!

My only complaint is the amount of graphic scenes, or lack there of. I mean I wanna see some Texas Chainsaw Massacre type shit - mouths cut open, assholes pulled, things being stretched (even if I have to look away from the screen). The main babe was pretty hot, but there definitely needed to be more TNA. MUCH MORE. However in light of keeping the film someone more sophisticated, I can part knowing that these aren't life changing scenes that were missing.

But like any good movie, there needs to be character development. That way you can feel and sympathize and get a gut wrenching thrill each time something crazy happens. Sadly enough, this film lacks it as well. We get this crazy spirited samurai Japanese guy in Germany, random, the pale bland white girl who dies from eating too much of her friends shit (and doesn't poop herself - mind you no one urinates at all in the whole movie I mean like wtf?!). Whatever, not to spoil this flick entirely, so here's some of my fav visual clips for you to enjoy!








Apparently they're making a second one too! With a bigger centipede blah blah blah 5 people? Hopefully it will go more into depth and detail graphically and story-wise on what could potentially be a great production or saga. If not, I'll just have to settle for a porn version and call it a day. Cuz Ass to mouth can be a good but weird thing at the end of the day, and a damn good day it would be (for me to watch).



Rating? It gets 6.5/10 scars. Watch it for the hell of it, but don't expect some ROb Zombie type rad shit. The poster get's a 9/10. Good shit. GET IT?! I guess probably the only scene that made me cringe (scroll up) was the poopoo all ova da face scene. Can you imagine? I was waiting for it as soon as they were sewn together! Ick.

Yours Truly,
Boris 'Ladykiller' Changstein Jr.