I WOULD OF PUT MY FINGER IN HER BUTTHOLE.

And most people psychologically freeze up in such circumstances. As you can see in Exhibit A the straight male is in state of paradoxical error for being at a Lady Gaga show in the first place. Please also note how fans will touch everywhere but where there hands REALLY want to be. No titty grabs, finger banging or what not?! Fine. This guy won't wash his face or shoulder for a week.

Even if it prompts a beat down by security, how sick would it be to say: "So I was at the Lady Gaga concert my 'cousin made me go to', I totally bit Lady Gaga's tit and got my ass kicked by Security!" Pretty fucking epic if you ask me. Then you can be on TMZ and boom - a career ensues and you'll probably get a MTV reality show. Genius.



Peep the REAL 4-EYED CREEP lookin straight at YOU! Fucking awkward.
via WWTDD