OoOoh Blogger Beta is now dead. I am wreaking of excitement. blah.
As of this moment, I officially denounce the use of the Dick in the Box video to those who have not seen it. If you missed the train, I am sorry. It is obvious that you have no exposure to anything remotely broadcasted and that your friends were too unkind to share such joyous wonders with you. I too am guilty of this pleasure, however, I am rehabilitated...MUST... REFRAIN... FROM... SINGING... SONG...
"Well baby girl it's Christmas, and my heart is open wide~"
FUCK.
Hope everyone had a merry fuckin' christmas with crazy family and family friends (Yea, I know you were forced). If those awkward silences didn't kill you, probably waiting for the expressions of people's faces as they opened their gifts did! I mean seriously, that face that you have when someone gives you a piece of shit present?! FUCKIN' PRICELESS! You couldn't hide that face to save your fuckin' life!! And that shit feeling when someone only "appreciates" your gift? HHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!!
And how many fuckin' baby presents have to be opened in front of you as the baby can't even open the presents?! The mom just sits there fake opening the gifts, making high pitched voices as she thanks the lord from having her buy all that shit for her child herself! It's like a fuckin 30 min. painful skit!
AND will someone please tell me what spiked eggnog tastes like? Wait, I don't even know what regular eggnog tastes like. ASIANS don't drink that shit. But I'd like to take one for the team. No, not like that time I caught the clap for the sake of fucking the Spanish girl!
Then again, Asians aren't really supposed to celebrate Christmas either. WE got fuckin Chinese New Year in another fuckin month! Sorry to all my passionate Christian Asians, you got enough problems as it is. serious. BooYA! I said it! Oh I'm kidding!! Besides, did you peep my xmas blazer niggaz?! BANANAS SON!
And as for the fellas and the ladies, please think twice before you drop that $400 on your boyfriend or girlfriend cause you KNOW you're gonna hate the bitch once Spring hits, and you know she's gonna be on her period this week! And if you think she's gonna hook up with her ex during the break, she's probably doing so right now. Oh girls...you really trust him that much?! Then why you sitting here all curious on how I could potentially be your first Asian umm...intimate encounter?! Oh c'mon it's bad enough our girls love your white boys (and that you white boys are OBSESSED with the slanted punaneee) but yo! I'm big in Tokyo I swear to god!!
And I fold good laundry...
I mean it's sweet it really is, but check it...YOU'RE GONNA STARVE FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS CUZ YOU WERK AT TACO BELL! Wait, you can't starve if you work at a food joint?! Wait, it's Taco Bell. ok nevermind.
But, should you be on the holiday prowl all brightly dressed and intoxicated, remember - Adidas said it best:
It's the only way to be during the holidays.
See you in 2007 losers. Join the Creep Movement. It's the only thing you should be looking forward to anyway. I mean it's sad if it is but at the same time: HOW FUCKIN RAD WOULD YOU BE?!
REAL FUCKIN RAD.
Yours Truly,
STEADY B BE ROCKIN STEADY! WATCH YOSELF! IHEARTBORIS <3DAY2007*
OH YEA SINCE IT'S NO LONGER A SECRET. SOMEONE GET CHIP A FUCKING _._._!!!!
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