DAMMIT!!!

SO DUMB.

Sometimes facebook needs a bitchslap, and certain people on it.

YO NO RACIAL!!

I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY'S WATCHING ME!!!

KEPT YOU FOOLS WAITING ENOUGH...HERE'S A TEASER...
SHIPS TO STORES WORLDWIDE NEXT WEEK!!
CAN'T FIND US LOCALLY? GET YOU FAVORITE SHOP TO CARRY US BITCHES!!



CREEP STREET TAKEOVER 2009!!
GET ON OUR TWITTER / FACEBOOK / MYSPACE / WHATEVER THE FUCK!

AND SHOW US SOME MUTHAFUCKIN FILTHY LOVING!!

THIS MY SHIT.

...CUZ JESUS CAMP WASN'T FUCKED UP ENOUGH!

BEST SHOW EVER!!

Except I live it in real life. true story.

GOING ONCE...GOING TWICE...NEVER MIND.

Yo! I stole this shit from here: http://slog.thestranger.com

-----------
muthafuck MJ was creepin a little too hard and tried to sell his shit for some flow.
But he got a little emotional and half stepped like the cracka-ass cracka he is -
and canceled his auction.

sorry epic fail. but ferreal muthafucka has sum amazing (and fucked up creepy) shit.

-----------

peep game:

"So, I'm in L.A. for the weekend, and I just got back from touring the single most amazing place I have ever been: the Michael Jackson auction collection at the Beverly Hilton. AND MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Michael Jackson—in case you hadn't heard—accidentally got super destitute because he spent all of his money on flying carpets and gold-plated robot butlers, so he decided to auction off all his shit to raise a bunch of millions of dollars. (Or something. Please do not quote me on the details.) Except then he changed his mind and asked for the stuff back, so now there's NOT going to be an auction (boooo!), but that's not really important. What's important is that I still got to go and LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF.

THE STUFF.
IS CRAZY.

Touring the Michael Jackson auction collection is exactly like touring the inside of MJ's baroque, gold-plated crazybrain. Turns out, the inside of MJ's baroque, gold-plated crazybrain is the most fun and wondrous place you've ever been. It's also suuuper depressing!

It's the kind of place where it's impossible to decide what to take a picture of. IMPOSSIBLE! Everything is fucked up AND totally fucked. The weirdest revelation of the day was MJ's apparent obsession with lifesize wax figures of elderly white people in folksy poses and varying bonnets. The Creepiest Piece of Furniture Award goes to "child-size chaise lounge" (for child-size reclining nude?). But the overall Best Shit Ever is CLEARLY the vast collection of MJ-themed art, for which words do not suffice. (Far too many pictures after the jump!)

Follow me, follow me...

A Child's Garden of Alleged Bad Touching

A lot of the stuff is weirdly homemade/bush-league, like this Zoo sign.

This woman was LITERALLY WEEPING in the sculpture garden, and in this photograph is tenderly pressing her cheek to the golden gates of Neverland.

"Socks."

"Art."



Roddy McDowall?

Something about this dirty mat made me sad.

California Raisin collection.

This was not right.

DEAR GOD WHY WAS THE AUCTION CANCELED!?

DEAR GOD WHY WAS THE AUCTION CANCELED!? PART TWO

DEAR GOD WHY WAS THE AUCTION CANCELED!? PART TWO (detail)

As far as I can tell, this one involves Peter Pan and MJ watching in horror/furtive pleasure as the Three Stooges, Kermit the Frog, the ghost of Walt Disney, and Shirley Temple all conspire to rape Charlie Chaplin.


Edward's actual Scissorhands.

Original paintings by Michael Jackson (top) and Macaulay Culkin (bottom). I WOULD NOT JOKE ABOUT THIS.

See this chef guy? There were ten more like him in different outfits just lounging on the furniture all over the place. And some of them were ladies. Did MJ always dream of having whimsical white grandparents?


Can you read this? It's a letter from Ronald Reagan expressing his condolences about that time Michael Jackson caught on fire.

Gew! Gew gew gewww!

"I'm a multidimensional creature..."

Goodbye! (FOR NOW...)

"
Posted by Lindy West


spanks Megsnuffy!

GETCHA WET WIPES!!

Makin way for the new shit!!
Over 50% OFF you cheap bastards!!
Get Epic!!

CLICK AND TIT.

FOR ALL MY BOSTON BITCHES...

on sum totally non Creep type shit here's the business suit part of me:



Every once in a while this dipshit corporation does some pretty epic shit.
PUMA CITY pretty much celebrates the the homecoming of some shit that
most of you know nothing about : PUMA SAILING. And I don't blame you.

But fuck it CUZ~~~!!

Pretty much they're paying for a good months worth of events by day & partying by night -
by the waterfront...so bring a few bitches, get crunk, and enjoy sum discounted shopping.
-----

WHEN: APRIL 25th - MAY 16th 2009

WHERE: FAN PIER`in SOUTH BOSTON

Download the party schedule if you wanna know what da fucks up:
http://tinyurl.com/PUMACITYschedule


You can tell them Boris sent you.

IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO...

too bad but i can't dance.

LET'S DO THIS!!

NEW DAY! NEW WEEK! NEW SEASON!!

CMON BITCHES WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I turn another fuckin year older tomorrow which at this point is no longer cool.
But wish me a happy online birthgay anyway. You guys are better than my friends in real life anyway!

After you turn 23, you are no longer psyched about it. Why?!
Here's the top 10 reasons why:

1. Wounds take twice as long to heal. (arthritis is gonna be a bitch muthafucker)
2. Scars take twice as long to lose their blemish. (shit aint going away son)
3. You know longer should be hanging out in colleges. (but you still make excuses for it)
4. You shouldn't be dating high school girls anymore. (SHOULDN'T) ;)
5. You cannot buy random shit anymore. (that takes up living room space)
6. You start thinking about longer term relationshits. (Ok that was a lie.)
7. You are officially no longer capable of losing weight. (penis is now invisible)
8. You now round off another year closer to 30.
9. You're not allowed to get into wasted fist fights. (dont be a douche)
10. You have no legal excuse to be living in your mom's house. (you do want a gf right?!)

I'm going back to NYC this weekend to celebrate my birth right.
ironically, the only think I'm looking forward to is eating my monthly dose
of Mcdonald's on the FUNG WAH bus back. Why?! cuz I'm a creep, myy life sucks,
but it's still much radder than yours times infiniti!!! woOoooOo

P.S. I LOVE RONALD!!



CREEP STREET HITS STORES IN 2 WEEKS!! GET EPIC BITCH I LOVE YOU ALL!!

-Bronasaurus-Sex

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!

Don't fuck with a boy's bacon!!



via Spearsin

'She can't run in high heels..." hahahahahahahhaha

WOW.

GOOGLE STREET VIEWS CAPTURES CRIME!

NOW THIS muthafuckin shit made my muthafuckin day!

YOU EVER GET THE FEELING LIKE YOURE BEING WATCHED? CUZ YOU MUTHAFUCKING ARE!!
On a funnier note, man is that even legal to be recording shit like that?!
I typed in my home address and saw my mom putting shit in her car trunk!

stolen from BLOTTER
--------------------

1. Reckless Driving

"I didn't realize this was a no parking tree."

Mildly Reprehensible Knievel.

Timmy made extra money working as a bicycle airbag.

2. Burglary/Theft

Either this is Spiderman's laundry day, or this guy's trying to break in.

It's awfully nice of him to steal a bicycle for his imaginary friend.

I'm thinking that's not the Staples parking lot.

3. Vandalism/Destruction of Property

Short on money, Joe tried deserpately to paint an ATM.

Before she buys a car, she kicks the tires...and the door...and the side-view mirror...and the salesman.

4. Public Intoxication

In his defense, that light pole would fall down if he wasn't there.

Few have seen the alley behind Sesame Street.

The park: where everybody knows your name.

5. Assault and Battery

This beatdown went on for 16 units!

Practicing for their middle school production of Rocky III.

Never too young to commit a felony.

6. Indecent Exposure

Trying to build up her resume for that Girls Gone Wild application.

7. Brandishing a Deadly Weapon

We're pretty sure this is a toy gun.

This, on the other hand...

"There can be only one!"

8. Illegal Parking

Unless this is a hover car, it isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"The white curb is for gelato loading and unloading only..."

Citation for Driving a Vespa While Male.

9. Prostitution

Even Cinderella was hurt by the recession.

Must be the car.

Hooker? I hardly know her!

10. Joyriding

OK, this is a Google Earth photo, but it's clear that someone's taking their frustrations out on a baseball field.

11. Underage Smoking

Blurring your hair won't hide your shame.

12. Speeding

Busted.

Erik Estrada don't play that.

"I'm sorry ma'am, this is a no Schwinn situation."

13. Drug Dealing

That car was made for buying drugs.

Obviously peddling crack.

14. Jaywalking

Not using a crosswalk...

Not waiting for the light...

Not living in reality.

15. Lewd Behavior

I don't wanna know what's going on here...OK, maybe I do.

Can't you at least wait 'til you get home to blow it up?

16. Failure to Obey a Street Sign

The Google car is apparently above the law.

17. Arson?

Aftermath of the Great Tulip Riot of '07.

What fire?

18. Public Urination

A menage-a-tinkle.

"The bush was on fire."

Guilty.

19. Stalking

"Soon, that sarong will be mine..."

20. Unspecified Offenses

"Sir, your rims are just too shiny."

"I swear, someone put that construction cone in my pants."

When the police station runs out of coffee, 7-11 gets shut down.

-----------
THE CREEPS IS WATCHING - & THEY IS WATCHING ALL YOU CREEPS!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

SPRING SUMMER CREEP STREET DROPS IN 2 WEEKS!! GET EPIC BITCHES!!!