Thursday, August 28, 2008

WHAT IS?!

CRAIGSLIST = GREATNESS.

MANLY BIKE FOR SALE


Date: 2008-07-22, 10:18AM PDT

Bike for sale 


What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME". 



The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way. 



The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating. 



The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything. 



I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total: 


Gear 1 - Sissy Gear 
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear 
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear 
Gear 4 - Boy Gear 
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear 
Gear 6 - Manly Gear 
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear 

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest. 


Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four". 


Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices) 

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 765370039

via Amar

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

UMM.....HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Currently listening to:


Fuck fuck fuck....for once I wish i could have an extra week to catch up on all this shit. supporting 5 illegitimate children aint easy these days with fuckin gas prices and all. Plus this muthafuckin jetlag got me thinkin 6 hours in advance. Too bad i feel 6 days backasswards. Need... some... sleep.

So if you havent hopped onto WWW.KARMALOOP.COM to get the latest Creep Street™ goodness you better get on it!! We're ready to ship them our second batch and we're already running out of sizes!! Don't worry I'm gonna get the flicks up (FINAL - FUCKING - LY) to you and make them available on our site as well. Plus we got a special online exclusive for you too ;)

So the shit ive done for nike SB has finally showed up! show some love will ya?! shhh...dont tell my parents at PUMA...




SO I'd just have to ask:



never not fucking working!! shit is not easy but fuck it - i woulda dated your girl if i wanted it to be. All you cats at magic blowin dough like assholes! Wait, I have no dough to blow. :( i'm jealous. Hop on the hundreds blog or the arab parrot for the latest and greatest. We plan on making a epic debut soon no worries. But we need your fuckin support. HELP MAKE CREEP STREET FUCKIN GLOBAL and spread the fuckin word you lazy fucks. yea, you!

<3 Yours truly,
B-Ron the muthafuckin Don.

IN TODAY'S ARCHAEOLOGY DISCOVERIES...

Species Packus maniackus discovered in Creep Street Ruins...



-via Amar

"This shit is for real!"

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

IM BACK!

sorry been gone for 10 days touring eastern europe. pics 2 come!!!

for now please enjoy:

Saturday, August 16, 2008

offensive.




but shut the fuck up its kinda funny.






what were you expecting here anyway? taste?!

Friday, August 15, 2008

LIKE....WOW. PLEASE WATCH IN WHOLE.

Why have I only seen this now?!
Shouts to my homegirl ChelaVee!




TGIF bitches. Stop laughing.
Creep Street Endless Summer. GO cop it dick.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Monday, August 11, 2008

SUMMER BLOWOUT SALE

YEP. Making space for the new shit. It's here. hint hint.
In the meantime grab this shit we got left before it's gone!!



WWW.MADCREEPY.COM CHOPSHOP

SO PROPER!

Happy Monday muthafuckas.

WAFFLE WEDDING

via Hightower the Hitman

I love waffles.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

GO FUCK URSELF!



A little old, but a favorite.
Going back to the big apple tonight. holla at me.

WHY I HATE MY PARTNER CHIP.

http://cakefarts.com/meatloaf/